HaPpY pLaCe

This is for the girls and boys that sit in the lonely corners at lunch, this is for the math teachers (need i expand), this is for the dreamers who live among the clouds, this is for the people who check their watches too much
Find your happy place
this is for the mischief making two year olds, this is for the mothers of mischief making two year olds, this is for the elderly who, like two year olds have applesauce being spooned in their mouth by some overly happy looking woman... please find your happy place
This is for the cowboy boot wearing boys, the wallflower in gym class, this is for the newborns with patches of heaven in their sparkling eyes, this is for the people with red hair... the people with no hair,
find your happy place

This is for the girls who cant see past themselves in high school, the girls who are looked right past, this is for the people with the bandaged hearts and tattered souls,
find your happy place
this is for the big brothers who protect their little sisters, this is for the bullied and broken, the bruised and the scarred, this is for the boys in the polos, this is for the drama queens,  this is for the friendless,
find your happy place
this is for the two year olds that cannot be understood because the speak half english half god,  this is for the unforgiven, for the ones with bottled up unreached potential,
find your happy place
this is for the kids who no longer know where home is, this is for the fathers who cry after their families are sleeping because they know they cannot support them all alone,
find your happy place
just look, we all have a place or a thought to take us away from ourselves, where we can slip from our skin if but for just a small moment.

Gandhi_ I am in love with a boy manufactured to destroy so i shall unravel my love just like a red woolen glove.

Whisper
click
tap.. tap.. tap..
 I keep forgetting I am sitting in class while the other students live their lives around me.
I pick at my red woolen scarf as it unravels a bit... funny thats how my life feels.

I forget how you can go so long floating on clouds made up of fluffy stuff they call hopes and dreams... and love.  Then the next thing you remember you're on the ground twenty stories down and your looking up at the sky as others keep on floating by, not bothering to say hi just wave bye.

I forget how easy it is to slip underneath their toes nobody cares where is it I go.  Before anyone can stop it your treading water looking at your own reflection gazing back, not recognizing the sneering face.  I forget to put on my smile so I dont let them catch on that anything is wrong.

I wish they would have caught on already... to forget about me and let me fade away in peace.  If  I was stronger I would put forth the effort to not forget, to not forget to love to not forget to take away my own ambitions.

Without ambitions and hope, why even have heart and a brain.  why not cut them out and lay them on the operating table so at least there is now a reason for the numb blankness in your eyes.

What if I dont measure up, What if I forget how to be me.  What if I lose myself sometimes, and forget how to find myself.  What if thats all it takes just that once and I've lost myself completely.  Is that possible?  Are we ever ourselves completely anyways?

 Maybe if I lost myself I would find myself.

I cant take a chance.  Is forgetting really worth the pain it causes later?

So now I will get up from the chalk outline I have drawn for myself, open my eyes, take a deep breath and

Remember.